It’s all in the head

Dear God,
Twenty-five days into the new year, I had my 1st mind battle.
Yes, Lord and it was not funny.
You know how you prepare your mind, gear up, ready to dive into the new year with renewed hopes, new expectations and new resolutions, right?
Yep, I did too.
I promised myself that I wasn’t going to tune into any negative channels that would distract me this year, but alas, the negative channel tuned into me………You don’t want trouble, but trouble wants you.
So Lord, there I was sitting in the living room sipping my coffee when the channels in my head tuned in on their own.
I wasn’t even sure how the thoughts manipulated themselves into my head, but I just realised I felt a mood change.
Was it the coffee? Was it the television? Or the series of whines and complaints about the country I heard all day long….but whatever it was called up the negative channel in my head.
“Hmmm, I thought that by now things would have started to look up, why is this naira still sliding? Things are getting tougher by the day. So many calls for help” I sighed.
“We can’t have a repeat of 2023, we just can’t, something has to give or stay”, I muttered to myself
(And that is when the mind battle began)
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+VE Tots: My dear, you’ve got to see the silver lining! Things may be tough now, but trouble doesn’t last forever.
-VE Tots: Who is your dear? Does she feel like a dear to you now? The situation of things is going downhill faster than a snowball in hell. It’s like trying to stop a runaway train.
+VE Tots: Hey easy, we are not fighting. I am just saying that even as bad as it looks, there is still a light somewhere in the tunnel
-VE Tots: Light? Where? Show me. More like there is impending doom in the tunnel. Mumu, the writing on the wall says: “In Nigeria, when it rains, it pours,” and lately, it’s been a deluge.
+VE Tots: (smirking) Common on, cheer up, don’t be a prophet of doom. Remember, “However long the night, the dawn will break.”
-VE Tots: Dawn? Iya, it feels like we’re stuck in perpetual midnight. You heard what those people said, “Nigeria is structured to trip you no matter how firm you are standing.”
+VE Tots: True, just as long as “you fall seven times, and stand up eight.”
-VE Tots: Yeah, more like you fall, get up and find trapdoors at every turn. It’s a never-ending loop.
+VE Tots: (laughing) What happened to you, you’re a walking book of pessimism today. Where is your silver linings? Remember, “Every cloud has a silver lining.”
-VE Tots: (scoffs) Silver lining? More like tarnished gold. “Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.”- This country is a dream killer. Are you blind? Can’t you see what’s going on?
+VE Tots: And what may I ask is going on? Apart from your whines and complaints?
-VE Tots: Truth is bitter but must be said. What is going on is that everybody is leaving this country that God has forsaken and she is sitting there drinking coffee. Quiet a target!
+VE Tots: Target? What do mean target?
-VE Tots: She is a sitting duck. Have you taken a look at her goals for the year? In this country? What a Dreamer!
+VE Tots: And what’s wrong with dreaming?
-VE Tots: How will she achieve all of these this year? In this uncertainty?
+VE Tots: And why not? Have you not heard the Persian proverb, “The dog that trots about finds a bone.” Let her keep trotting, she will find the good bones in this Country and fulfil her dreams.
-VE Tots: Oya now, babe, get up and trot around, the bone is on the other side.
+VE Tots: Don’t be mean
-VE Tots: You, don’t be a hopeless optimist, she needs to leave this country, even if she finds the bones, I’m not sure if bones will fix the mess we’re in.
+VE Tots: And there are no messes in the countries you are pushing her to, yes?
-VE Tots: At least their shits don’t hit the roof…..
+VE Tots: May I remind you that “He who leaves the old path for the new only knows what he leaves, but not what he will find.” Let’s embrace the uncertainty and hope for the best.
-VE Tots: I would rather embrace the uncertainty on the other side. It won’t get any better here.
+VE Tots: It will.
-VE Tots: Dollar is heading to 2000
+VE Tots: It won’t get there.
-VE Tots: That’s exactly what you said when it headed to 1000…..where is it at now? The storm is coming.
+VE Tots: Storms come and pass. Just remember: “A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor.” It may be rough now, but this too shall pass.
-VE Tots: I am here. I am watching.
+VE Tots: Keep watching. This year will be her best year ever, she will finish well.
-VE Tots: January is going… going… gone oo.
+VE Tots: February will come. The expectations of the righteous shall not be cut off….
-VE Tots: (Shaking its head) You both need help
+VE Tots: We have help. We are the ones helped by God.
-VE Tots: Aunty (It said pointing an invisible finger at me) get up and get out while you can. It’s an impossible situation
+VE Tots: Nothing is impossible with God. Is there anything too difficult for Him? Wait on the Lord, again I say wait!
(I stared at the empty space perplexed. How did this conversation get to my leaving the country? For whom? To where? For what? And by the way, how did the voices get into my head? I shut down the negative channel immediately. No way, not in my head.)

Father Lord, there is nothing too difficult for you. I am not afraid, I choose to trust you with all my heart. I will not lean on my understanding of any situation. I choose to acknowledge you in all my ways and You will direct my path.
And Yes, I choose to wait. And I will sow in this land, and I will reap of its fruits. You can bet your life on that.
This is your daughter, I don’t have time for the bad energy, I got my eyes on the ball and I am checking in.